Something weird happened to me when…
2007
Something weird happened to me when I dreamt I was in teletubby land. I fell asleep on my bed and then I awoke on soft gently flowing grass. The fist thing I saw was a glowing television kneeling over me mumbling the words “e’ghoo” over and over and over again.
I looked up and jumped like a jack rabbit after a carrot because of what I saw. I saw the most hideous face ever to be seen by mortal eyes. I hopped off my stomach and darted toward the sun running faster, gaining speed with every step. I peered over my shoulder and saw what looked like red dodge ball riding a vacuum cleaner with a square above its head.
My first thought at the sight of that was “huh”, “what’s that”? As it gained ground I could tell that it had a head and short stubby legs and arms. I stopped lolly gagging and started trotting again. After what felt like three hours of running as fast as the wind, peeking over me shoulder, and then starting to pace all over again I finally began to tier.
Looking back one more time before I came to a halt I saw nothing. Not a creature in sight. So I took one step and fell head first into a vat of rainbow filled goop. After that I heard a maniacal laugh and smelt some stink of football players’ dirty laundry bank.
I sprawled out of the vat and crawled toward the horizon. As I crawled I felt a sense of bloating. The bloating sense continued to increase so I decided to look and see of I was growing fatter.
As I did so, I noticed that I was changing skin color from blue to red to orange, that my arms and legs had increased in width and depth, and also my stomach had a blue television sticking out of it. I was stating to mumble and say things I didn’t understand, I was turning into one of them.
THE, END
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
My more sensative side
Lost in the crowd
2007
While holding my mothers hand in the crammed mall, trying to get to one last shop before it was time to go home and get ready for Christmas Eve dinner, a fake Santa runs thru the crowd and separates me and my mother’s hands. Quickly I realize what had happened and eagerly looked around for any sign of my mother, I hear a voice calling my name saying “Rose, Rosalina Where are you!!!” It was my mother calling for me with sadness in her voice and tears in her eye’s looking for me frantically. Being five years old, I didn’t know what to do except for what my mother told me before we entered the mall. My mother told me to immediately find a security guard if we were separated and have him use the intercom and call her to the front desk. As I searched for a security guard, walking thru the always intertwining forest of people, peering up at the tall white, black and tan figures always talking, pushing or shoving their way thru the sea of people trying to get to there destination before the item they came to the mall to buy was purchased by someone else. Finally I spot a security guard sitting on a bench talking to a woman who was crying. I run to the security guard at full speed and tell him who I’m looking for and that I’m lost. The lady beside him taps me on my shoulder, I look up and its my mother smiling at me with tears in her eyes. She picks me up and gives me a loving hug.
2007
While holding my mothers hand in the crammed mall, trying to get to one last shop before it was time to go home and get ready for Christmas Eve dinner, a fake Santa runs thru the crowd and separates me and my mother’s hands. Quickly I realize what had happened and eagerly looked around for any sign of my mother, I hear a voice calling my name saying “Rose, Rosalina Where are you!!!” It was my mother calling for me with sadness in her voice and tears in her eye’s looking for me frantically. Being five years old, I didn’t know what to do except for what my mother told me before we entered the mall. My mother told me to immediately find a security guard if we were separated and have him use the intercom and call her to the front desk. As I searched for a security guard, walking thru the always intertwining forest of people, peering up at the tall white, black and tan figures always talking, pushing or shoving their way thru the sea of people trying to get to there destination before the item they came to the mall to buy was purchased by someone else. Finally I spot a security guard sitting on a bench talking to a woman who was crying. I run to the security guard at full speed and tell him who I’m looking for and that I’m lost. The lady beside him taps me on my shoulder, I look up and its my mother smiling at me with tears in her eyes. She picks me up and gives me a loving hug.
Sewer inspector
2007
The worst job I think I could get is sewer inspector because the smell, the revolting pests inside the sewer and the lousy pay. I mean really who in the world would want to walk around in someone’s waste and look for holes underneath about one foot of crap. But that’s not the only thing you have to dig through, you also have to fish through the two foot layer of rats, cockroaches and “sewer gators”.
LOL. You don’t really have to worry about sewer gators, they’re just a legend made up by town officials to keep pedestrians from using the sewers as short cut to work by skipping the traffic and the officers. But after an actual alligator was found in the sewers people never went down there again.
Anyway why would you want to be down there anyway, I mean really what do you have to gain by fixing a tunnel that’s holding someone’s poo. Please tell me if you know. Do you get paid a lot, I don’t think so! From my research, which is none, sewer inspectors only get paid about $600.00 a month. What the heck kind’a pay is that. I mean really, the average family usually needs just $100.00 a week to buy groceries. What do they live on through the week a bag of chips? And bills these days, how do you afford rent
And o my gosh, the smell! Oh the smell is so revolting like that of what a garbage man smells every stink’n day. I think the smell would be something like the rear end of a goat.
Well that’s what I think the worst job in the world is or could be. So pay your respects to those who are sewer inspectors that you know and thank them for doing something so you don’t have to do it yourself. I mean really do you want to scrape around in floating who knows what all day fixing a hole in the wall?
2007
The worst job I think I could get is sewer inspector because the smell, the revolting pests inside the sewer and the lousy pay. I mean really who in the world would want to walk around in someone’s waste and look for holes underneath about one foot of crap. But that’s not the only thing you have to dig through, you also have to fish through the two foot layer of rats, cockroaches and “sewer gators”.
LOL. You don’t really have to worry about sewer gators, they’re just a legend made up by town officials to keep pedestrians from using the sewers as short cut to work by skipping the traffic and the officers. But after an actual alligator was found in the sewers people never went down there again.
Anyway why would you want to be down there anyway, I mean really what do you have to gain by fixing a tunnel that’s holding someone’s poo. Please tell me if you know. Do you get paid a lot, I don’t think so! From my research, which is none, sewer inspectors only get paid about $600.00 a month. What the heck kind’a pay is that. I mean really, the average family usually needs just $100.00 a week to buy groceries. What do they live on through the week a bag of chips? And bills these days, how do you afford rent
And o my gosh, the smell! Oh the smell is so revolting like that of what a garbage man smells every stink’n day. I think the smell would be something like the rear end of a goat.
Well that’s what I think the worst job in the world is or could be. So pay your respects to those who are sewer inspectors that you know and thank them for doing something so you don’t have to do it yourself. I mean really do you want to scrape around in floating who knows what all day fixing a hole in the wall?
Mourning Madness
2007
Ring! Ring! Ring! I am startled by the noise of my alarm clock and fall out of bed onto the cold, dirty, wet floor and try figure out what time it is. I gaze at my watch for a moment and see that its seven o’clock. As I squirm out of the ocean of garbage on the floor trying to get to my before the giant cockroaches awoke to find their prisoner out of bed when he wasn’t told to get out of bed. You see my world received a container about two years ago from your filth ball planet containing radiated roaches. Being about three millimeters tall, we had no choice but to give them our freedom and people for slaves or they’d spit acid at us and watch us melt to the ground and then slurp the puddles up through bendy straws.
So any way I freed myself from the tangled, ever weaving trash heap on the floor and thrust myself upon my so called “bed”. At that very moment the roaches awoke from their deep sleep and called me to fetch them some “breakfast” and a bottle of shell polish. I obeyed and retrieved the usual…rotten eggs, musty bananas and a soggy orange peel and then set of to give them their food. As I arrived I remembered they wanted a bottle of shell polish but forgot it when I was getting their breakfast from the local dump. I quickly dropped the crap, ran out the door and headed for the dump as fast as I could. As I turned the corner of my prison cell they saw me and thought I was running away.
They jumped on their legs and scooted after me with great haste. Of course I thought they didn’t like me any more and were tired of waiting for their food so decided to make a slushy out of me. I moved my legs fast and faster and faster until I couldn’t see anything. But going faster and faster and faster wasn’t good enough for them so they just used four legs to run on instead of two out of six. Just then I feel nothing under my feet and looked down to find I was flying through the air.
I feel something latched onto my shoulders. I look up to find that cockroach with red light bulbs on its antennas is flying while holding onto me and thought it was going to take me back to my captors and get a fare share of my guts after I was dissolved but he just kept on flying and landed about ten minuets later and guess what he said. He said get me some breakfast and some shell polish! After saving me from an evil fate he gives me the exact same stuff the other things told me to get them. This I didn’t forget the shell polish though but he made me do a whole bunch of errands!
Why I love my life…the best of sarcasim
2008
Hmm...why do I love my life? Is it because everything I say comes out wrong; Or is it because whenever something good is supposed to happen to me it turns completely around and ends up being a bad thing. On the other hand I do have my loving, but sometimes over questioning parents and let’s not forget my two demon brothers who always find some way to aggravate me for no apparent reason.
Then again not everything I say comes out wrong, for example on Monday I went the entire day without having any misunderstandings by anyone, until I got home of course. When I arrived home, for a few minuets anyway, things went along o.k. until my mom came downstairs where I was watching TV and demanded that I right all the channels’ numbers that had anything “bad” on them, even if it was a commercial! This meant the MTV music video, soap opera, and comedy central channels. All because my little demon brothers might see something they’re not supposed to, I don’t even think they should be able to touch the TV without a password much less turn it on.
After my mom finished going on about that, I told her that I loved all those channels. She blocked them anyway, just then I caught my brother peering around the corner giving me one of those I-found-another-way-to-make-you-mad looks so I just shot him one of those I’ll-kill-you-later-looks. He left and I grimacingly watched mom block the few of my favorite channels I had left.
Today a terrifying terror twas to tear the telluric to tittles; this caused quite a bit of commotion at school. Lol. We were all in a fetal position for like the entire school day until Mr. Kahler, our principle, finally informed us that the testing of the proton beams had been successful and completed about 24 hr.’s previous!!!! If that last sentence didn’t tip you off well our school don’t communicate well.
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